Zombies eating my brain

I had this idea a while back. A zombie detective trying to solve his own murder while racing the biological clock to decomposition. Sam Spade meets the walking dead. Black humor abounds in the idea, from my perspective, and it’s something I would definitely read.

The trouble? I can’t write it. I don’t do zombies, vampires, weres, etc.. Nothing wrong with them, and they’re all pretty much hot topics these days in my genre, but I just… can’t. Even more importantly, I don’t do humor. My stuff all ends up very serious and seriously dark from an emotional content perspective.

I once tried to write a light and fluffy parody of Snow White form the perspective of Bashful. It… did not end well for the other dwarves. Turns out “Bashful” was really a dwarf named Charlie who was only out for the gold, and had no interest in splitting it 7 ways. He got the nickname from the constant flush of rage that pinked his cheeks. After tipping off the wicked witch to get that strumpet out of his bed so he wouldn’t have to sleep on the floor, he murdered the other six dwarves in creative ways (with special attention to the bubbly idiot they called “Happy”), sacked up the gold all for himself, and went back to have a bit of fun with the dead princess. o.O

Yeah. This is why I don’t write children’s fiction.

So if any of you would ever like to write a zombie detective novel with a humorous twist, have the idea on me.

Do you ever get ideas that just don’t mesh with your style or voice? What genre’s can’t you write?

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1 Response to Zombies eating my brain

  1. ROFL re: Bashful Charlie.

    I love your detective idea, but I don’t write zombies, either.

    I suppose I can’t write horror, since I’m squeamish about roving guts. Or romance. Not a romantic bone in my body. Sigh. 😉

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